Friday, August 31, 2007


does anyone know who the hell rachel bilson is? yes, i've seen pictures... ok i've only seen two pictures and they're both of a small, obnoxiously cute brunette (wearing MY HOODIE). i mean she sort of looks familiar. is she the latest drug addicted teen star who is currently holed up in rehab at age 14 and a half? see, now i'm getting mean. i should really just stick to the facts. ready?

1. i discovered mike & chris. if you don't know who mike & chris are, then please allow ME, the INVENTOR or maybe more accurately the DISCOVERER to explain it to you. since it was ME and NOT RACHEL BUTTHEADSEN who discovered them.

2. do your remember girlshop? it was a website, way back when, which was poorly organized and overly peppy and displayed entirely too much pink and warhol inspired stick figures. however, it was a pretty cool. as i remember, it was a sort of design collective. and whomever was in charge would go out, find cool new designers, and sell a limited number of pieces. sort of like a boutique online with too many media-inspired references to the sort of jargon girls are expected, but never really do use. (much like the lulu sample sale each month, in case you're wondering. who the hell calls them "shoesies? are we twelve? and on crack? no. they're shoes, you dumbasses but anyway)

3. well anyway. there came a cold miserable day in minneapolis, shortly into the second semester of my first year of law school. in law school, the beginning of the second semester of the first year is when the delusion sets in. the first semester is over. you've been broken, humiliated, disheartened and are generally the most pathetic and miserable person on the face of the earth... besides maybe the dude sitting next to you who can't tell the difference between "you're" and "your" and everyone knows it because he sent out a mass email last week displaying his nauseating ignorance to his classmates. how the hell did that dude get IN to the U but i'm getting off point here. you are miserable. any inkling of happiness is delegated to random, superficial and entirely morally unsatisfying activities which may, for a few seconds, get your mind off of constitutional law. in this case, my desire for comfort, and unyielding dedication to remaining fashionable despite my educational pursuits left me envisioning a sleek, simple, tailored and slightly embellished hoodie. so i began my search, right there in constitutional law, for the sleek hoodie. i began with girlshop, typed in "hoodie" and up came a sort of caramelly brown, tailored thick jersey zip up hoodie with large marc jacobs buttons, a wide waistband, and general greatness. my spring semester loans had just been disbursed to me, and so i clicked to buy regardless of the fact that the sleek little hoodie was $172. no luck. sold out.

4. now here comes my true mark of genius. i actually emailed the owners or website people from girlshop as well as mike & chris themselves, to ask when more of their merchandise might become available. do you know what year this was?! 1999. ok i'm lying. i think it was 2004. but STILL. rachel bileson was still in the mickey mouse club in 2004. and where was i, faithful readers? WHERE WAS I? i was in pursuit of mike and chris.

anyway long story longer, mike and chris never got back to me but whomever read my email assumed i was a retail owner and put me on the "list" which means i get the brochure dealy of all new season lines before rachel bilson gets them, and also means that i am ridiculously unbelievably cool and an deserving of all credit for DISCOVERING mike and chris.

ok i'm done. i'm coming back later today to write about how i am a bad, bad friend.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Judi Rosen: Black Balled

as some of you may remember, I posted some jeans recommendations last month in my post entitled Go and Buy These Jeans. Now.

my final "recommendation" was actually a warning not buy a pair of jeans I have been coveting for some time now-- the elephant bell by Judi Rosen.

well i changed my mind. have at it. i just found the jeans online (finally) and was horrified to realize that they come in sizes small-medium-large. ok maybe there's an extra small or extra large but this does not lessen the blow of the realization that Judi Rosen has abandoned us as women. i'm sorry but seriously. what the hell is she thinking?! denim is probably one of the most challenging pursuits in the history of women's shopping. there are all sorts of rules (don't go shopping when premenstrual, in a bad mood, etc). think of the catch phrases (blue jean baby, forever in blue jeans, nothing comes between me and my calvins, etc). or denim's role in weight gain or loss ('if my jeans are tight...'). or what about that episode when miranda finally loses the baby weight and realizes that she fits back into her 'skinny jeans?'

let's face it, denim is not only important, it's a RATHER delicate situation for many women. so don't we deserve, at the very least, sizes 2-14?! these days, sizes are popping up everywhere from 00 to 22. and why? because we're all different! we can't be classified into 7 sizes any more. we're unique. and we know that! JUDI ROSEN, ARE YOU HEARING US ROAR?!

but it's not just that. i guess i'm just becoming increasingly fed up with designers who charge an arm and a leg (oh god, now i sounds like my mother) for a good which is not superior. to be frank:if you're going to charge $350 for (some albeit incredible) jeans, don't you OWE IT TO US TO MAKE MORE THAN 3 SIZES?!

so anyway, i call bullshit. judi rosen is no longer cool and in my book and you know how i like to hold a grudge...

judi rosen: black balled.