The Investment Suit

Well, I'm a real live lawyer now. Ok, I've been a real live lawyer for a while now, but have recently started earning... an income. Gasp.

Obviously, there are some changes to be made around here, and I don't just mean the introduction of capital letters into my writing. It's also time to shift my girlish love of blue jeans to something more mature. More grownup. More professional. More expensive.

So it's a logical conclusion. It's time for the investment suit. S. Investment suits.

Now, as I've mentioned in the past-- I am actually a girl trapped in a giraffe's body. And while this was helpful when my job was basically that of a human hanger, now it's an advantage to be used carefully. I don't want to wind up looking like a she-man. This is all made more complicated by the fact that in addition to being unreasonably tall, I'm also built like a linebacker. Ok, that's an exaggeration. What I mean is-- I have broad shoulders and long arms and I do not need shoulder pads. And while we're all reluctant to admit that this 1980s tragedy lives on in most of our wardrobes-- it does. In fact, according to my tailor, no blazer is complete without a least a little somethin'-somethin' stabilizing the shoulder seam.

So, my goal is as follows: find reasonably classic (ie avoid the 'district attorney barbie look'), wearable suits that maintain an air of femininity. Class. Style.

Here are a few of the contenders:

Balenciaga:

Beautious, right? Um, yes. But also maybe a little domiatrix and while that's fun after 5, or perhaps on Boston Legal, I wish to create an air of professionalism. And, as is illustrated below:This suit has the potential to go from dominatrix to mental hospital orderly. Avant-garde, yes. But perhaps a little too over the top.

Tuleh:

Yes, it looks like a 3-piece, but the middle lapel is actually sewn to the jacket. I LOVE this suit, perhaps the very most, but am concerned that the narrowness of the leg won't be flattering. That is, I'm worried it's the equivalent to the skinny jean. Shudder.

Ralph Lauren:

Luca Luca:

Douglas Hannant:

Whip It, Good

as if the anti-thesis to my fashion identity, i would for once like to own a pair of shoes which are utterly impractical and highly likely to be tragic in a matter of months.

...or if for no other reason, than because the DEVO-inspired fashion revolution has finally presented me with some low-heeled options.

THE link.

so i did some web surfing, and it appears that in past years, the bar results were posted at this link (click on the box that reads 'your fate')



from what i can tell, it's a soooooooooper secret mystery exactly when and where the link gets posted. the site i found implies that the results are always posted at this link:


that link is: https://www.ibaby.org/testresults.php, although i've seen it varied at: https://www.ibaby.org/testresults.html

i make no guarantees.

prior release dates are linked to their respective sources:

July 2004: October 1
February 2006: April 1
July 2006: October 1 (personal source)
February 2007: April 5
July 2007: October 1 (as of 12:10 AM CST, they were up)
February 2008: April 5

I'll update this as I get more info...

Dear Illinois Bar Association: Please for the love of Christ let me pass

Well it's that time again. My sources tell me I've about 16 days (16 days, 15 hours, 57 minutes) until the Illinois Bar Association will quietly post the bar results on their website. I shouldn't be telling you this. It's a secret. I'm not sure why it's a secret, perhaps because if too many people click on the link at a certain time (date, hour, minute), then the site will crash and we'll all fail.

Superstition is a dangerous thing. I wore yellow plastic beads for 94 hours straight-- I would know.

Anyway, as I was rambling: last night I had the reoccurring my-god-i-can't-sleep-what-if-i-fail episode. I write 'episode' because it wasn't a dream, but not quite consciousness either. Somewhere in between, I guess, where my subconscious is arguing with my emotional health. Who the fuck cares what it was-- it sucked. And it was weirdly familiar. The last 3 weeks of the month of July were riddled with these episodes, and so now I am left to wonder if they'll continue until Ibaby drops the bomb.

I have my excuses... and they're pretty good. My entire family (I'm Catholic, there's a lot of us) invaded my study site in the first week of July while my mother underwent spinal fusion surgery. Yeah, that was pretty distracting. Oh-- and at 2 weeks prior my study partner became a paranoid manic who moved in and out with me twice before accusing me of sleeping with her exboyfriend-- not to mention the countless hours of property MBE question practice I lost while playing psycho-therapist.

And... well I'm sure I have another excuse. I'll think of it and get back to you. Right now, however, I'm going to hope that I won't need to cite any further excuses because I'll have passed.

Please for the love of Christ let me pass...

Gov. Palin in a Nutshell

I'll add cites to this tomorrow:

Gov. Palin is an evangelical christian (read: doesn't believe in evolution), has never been to Washington, has been a governor for only 2 years and who recently described herself as "just an average hockey mom."

Palin is purported to help McCain because she's weaker on environmental protection than he is (which evidently appeases the republican party?!?!?!?!). In fact, she has *strongly* advocated drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

Ralph Reed, the former head of the Christian Coalition, said of Palin “It is almost impossible to exaggerate how important that is to the conservative faith community.”

Palin holds a lifetime membership with the National Rifle Association, is a former Miss Alaska pageant contestant, advocated an Alaska death penalty law, and believes marriage is "between a man and a woman."

McCain described her as the candidate who would best “best help me shake up Washington.’’

Other than the fact that Palin has a vagina, I don't see anything about her that could make anything in Washington any different than it already is.

Yes, I supported Hillary Clinton to the end and yes, part of the reason I did it was because she's a woman. But Palin ain't much of a sister as far as I'm concerned, so she'll be going it without any support from me.

Dear Loyal Readers, This Is Why You Love Me.

I am the queen of finding good clothes for about a fraction of what everyone else paid. I've lived in four major cities and I've always been broke. Thus, I know where to shop. Let's start with Minneapolis because while it's not the greatest place I've inhabited, its shopping venue takes the cake.

Opitz is the name of the game. It's in Minneapolis (Neighborhood called 'Saint Louis Park' right next to Lake Calhoun). Opitz consists of 2 buildings. Building 1 is large, concrete & and has tacky murals painted on the outside. Building 1 sort of like a TJ Maxx except everything is ridonkulously high-end. It's nice and fun but not *that* cheap.

Building 2 (also called 'The Annex') is next door. It's a tragic little shack which could easily be mistaken for a crack house. The inside is no prettier; it features a whopping 500 square feet of narrow isles, broken garment racks, makeshift dressing rooms and an angry elderly woman who barrel through the store at least twice daily, growling at shoppers in German (and no, she's not an employee-- just a loyal shopper). The Annex's most persuasive deterrent, however, are the giant, electric yellow banners decorating the exterior. These banners are especially fun during summer sidewalk sales when rush hour passerbys drive past the Annex and read 'EVERYTHING TEN DOLLARS!!,' as if to point a big arrow at me, proclaiming 'THIS GIRL IS UNEMPLOYED, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY BROKE, AND HAS SIX FIGURES IN LAW SCHOOL DEBT.'

So, have I convinced you yet? If not, read on, oh noble bargain finder. 'Cause if great clothes on sale were easy to find, everybody would be doing it. Ready? Ok.

IT'S WORTH IT. When discussing the sale garments I've found at the Annex, my palms sweat, pulse quickens and my pupils dilate. So I'm just gonna spit it out here. Forgive me for my grammatical crimes. Moschino, Prada Collection, Donna Karan Signature, Gianfranco Ferre, Alberta Ferretti, Diane Von Furstenburg, Max Azria Collection, Chloe, Yves Saint Laurent, Oscar De La Renta, Louboutin, Miu Miu, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Chanel, Baleniaga, Monique L'Huillier, Strenesse Gabriele Strehle, Agnona Italy, Pier Antonio Gaspari, Armani Collezioni, Versace. You'll find rare upscale eclectic boutique designers. You'll recognize dresses from a 2006 Vogue. You'll be light-headed with glee. Yes, they are damaged and usually they're only 90% off. HOWEVER, once/month they have the $10 sale, where everything in the store is, you guessed it-- $10. Women stand in line for about an hour beforehand and claw each other down to get inside.

So, moral of the story:

1. Call ahead and find out when the $10 sale is (will be on a Wednesday, store opens at noon, usually).
2. Or better yet, sign up for their mailing list (click here do that).
3. Then call ahead and confirm the date of the $10 sale (click here for their website and contact info.
4. Go during the summer when the sidewalks are full of extra merchandise included in the $10 sale. (not that you want to go to Minnie during the winter, anyway).
5. Bring your girlfriends and make sure you all grow out and sharpen your fingernails before attending.
6. Immediately upon entering, go to the back corner of the tiny shack and grab a mesh black bag.
7. Grab everything and anything that looks interesting to you, remove the hanger so that each ensuing garment does not take up too much room in the aforementioned black mesh bag.
8. When you are absolutely sure that you've grabbed everything which looks interesting to you, go to a corner of the store and sift through it carefully. Re-hang the rejects (you do not want to piss off the employees of this store; they are your friends). And proceed to the register to purchase.

Go, my fashion children, you shan't be disappointed.

Cotton v. Lycra: Denim Fabric Guide

Jeans Guide:

(this is a draft, I'll add more soon)

1. Cotton is more durable, and will last longer. In my brief obsessional stint with Rock and Republic, I came to the conclusion that I will not pay $250 for a pair of jeans which fits beautifully for 4 months and then falls apart. Jeans containing polyurethane (even in small amounts) WILL fall apart eventually. I will pay up to $600 for a pair of jeans, I believe if anything, jeans are worth paying for because they are worn 4X as often as other garments in my closet. But not if they have poly.
2. Lycra is a different story. My favorite pair of jeans ever have lycra in them and so far their shelf life is about 13 months. However, lycra shortens jeans life too, not as much as poly, but still. Keep this in mind when shopping for denim.
3. The break-in period with 100% cotton jeans is significant. It takes me about 2 weeks before I feel like they're 'mine.' However, once they are 'mine,' they fit better and more comfortably than any blend containing lycra or poly.