RACHEL BILSON: DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS BUT SHE, TOO, IS COPYING ME.
does anyone know who the hell rachel bilson is? yes, i've seen pictures... ok i've only seen two pictures and they're both of a small, obnoxiously cute brunette (wearing MY HOODIE). i mean she sort of looks familiar. is she the latest drug addicted teen star who is currently holed up in rehab at age 14 and a half? see, now i'm getting mean. i should really just stick to the facts. ready?
1. i discovered mike & chris. if you don't know who mike & chris are, then please allow ME, the INVENTOR or maybe more accurately the DISCOVERER to explain it to you. since it was ME and NOT RACHEL BUTTHEADSEN who discovered them.
2. do your remember girlshop? it was a website, way back when, which was poorly organized and overly peppy and displayed entirely too much pink and warhol inspired stick figures. however, it was a pretty cool. as i remember, it was a sort of design collective. and whomever was in charge would go out, find cool new designers, and sell a limited number of pieces. sort of like a boutique online with too many media-inspired references to the sort of jargon girls are expected, but never really do use. (much like the lulu sample sale each month, in case you're wondering. who the hell calls them "shoesies? are we twelve? and on crack? no. they're shoes, you dumbasses but anyway)
3. well anyway. there came a cold miserable day in minneapolis, shortly into the second semester of my first year of law school. in law school, the beginning of the second semester of the first year is when the delusion sets in. the first semester is over. you've been broken, humiliated, disheartened and are generally the most pathetic and miserable person on the face of the earth... besides maybe the dude sitting next to you who can't tell the difference between "you're" and "your" and everyone knows it because he sent out a mass email last week displaying his nauseating ignorance to his classmates. how the hell did that dude get IN to the U but i'm getting off point here. you are miserable. any inkling of happiness is delegated to random, superficial and entirely morally unsatisfying activities which may, for a few seconds, get your mind off of constitutional law. in this case, my desire for comfort, and unyielding dedication to remaining fashionable despite my educational pursuits left me envisioning a sleek, simple, tailored and slightly embellished hoodie. so i began my search, right there in constitutional law, for the sleek hoodie. i began with girlshop, typed in "hoodie" and up came a sort of caramelly brown, tailored thick jersey zip up hoodie with large marc jacobs buttons, a wide waistband, and general greatness. my spring semester loans had just been disbursed to me, and so i clicked to buy regardless of the fact that the sleek little hoodie was $172. no luck. sold out.
4. now here comes my true mark of genius. i actually emailed the owners or website people from girlshop as well as mike & chris themselves, to ask when more of their merchandise might become available. do you know what year this was?! 1999. ok i'm lying. i think it was 2004. but STILL. rachel bileson was still in the mickey mouse club in 2004. and where was i, faithful readers? WHERE WAS I? i was in pursuit of mike and chris.
anyway long story longer, mike and chris never got back to me but whomever read my email assumed i was a retail owner and put me on the "list" which means i get the brochure dealy of all new season lines before rachel bilson gets them, and also means that i am ridiculously unbelievably cool and an deserving of all credit for DISCOVERING mike and chris.
ok i'm done. i'm coming back later today to write about how i am a bad, bad friend.
ljb
