the dude who wants and will get you to like him

i'm supposed to be sleeping. or writing. or... well, writing. a paper.

however, i was just struck with a revelation which i may be able to articulate i less than 10 minutes/3 paragraphs, whichever is shorter. since it usually takes me about 9 years to write, reviews, and obsessively reread a posting, i feel this easily-written revelation demands some face time. right now.

shit. i'm already at 3 paragraphs.

anyway, so i was recently discussing with a close friend the phenomenon of The Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him. the gyst: she has a crush on a dude at work. he is taken. my first suspicion? he is That Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him.

oh you know who I'm talking about. That Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him has met all of you-- every single last one. Whether you're dating him, or just eye fucking him from across your office, or even letting him trace his arm against yours when you pass in a hallway, every girl has met The Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him.

Additional observations: The Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him satisfies his innate manly seek and destroy drive by making chicks who are not his girlfriend like him, only to then act completely innocent and slightly stupid when said chicks respond to the Want And Will Get You To Like Him Initiative.

The Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him talks about his girlfriend all of the time. he'll do it even as he's gazing into your eyes after picking up your lunch tab in a small group of coworkers. he'll do it 30 seconds after complimenting some random, indistinct detail of your appearance and/or apparel. hell, he'll even outright compare you to her. whatever the time or place, The the Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him talks about his girlfriend all of the time. he does this for two reasons: 1. he doesn't trust himself and figures that by letting the entire world know he has a girlfriend, the entire world will somehow prevent him from cheating, 2. he wants to make himself seem more attractive/unattainable. ie he wants to fuck with you.

this dude rarely if ever actually technically strays from the mother ship, but he spends a lot of time making sure all of the other ships want and covet him. it's a validation thing for him. well, and not just that. it's also a game for him. it keeps him busy, sharpens his unneeded skills when he's feeling bored or dissatisfied with the wife at home.

ok i'm out of time. the moral of the story is this: The the Dude Who Wants And Will Get You To Like Him is an incredible prick. i've dated him and i've coveted him, and in both sets of shoes, i've always hated him.