Saturday, April 21, 2007

Gisele Bündchen: Also Copying Me

i have wanted these jeans last year when i saw them on (which has great sales, and awesome designers the sheep haven't found yet, and, best of all, are based in chicago which is the greatest city on earth. you should keep an eye on, oh loyal readers. or reader. or 2 friends of mine who drop in occasionally just so i don't feel like a dumbass).

they satisfy all of my requirements for good denim:

1. they wide waist band is slightly higher in rise and will not expose my pubic bone (have we discussed this? i am so over low rise

2. they have large back pockets to minimize my inordinately large ass.

3. they are relatively unknown, which means the sheep haven't caught on yet.

and 4. they run exceptionally long.

anyway, as for the style, yes, they are skinny. but they're not tapered. see? there's a difference. for example, in the picture below of, um, gisele, as in *the* gisele bündchen, karolina kurkova and adriana lima, you will note that one supermodel looks slight less fabulous than the other supermodels. why, you ask? well that's a very good question. you see-- even supermodels can't pull off skinny jeans. ok, ok, yes they pretty much always look freakishly attractive, but on a relative basis, skinny jeans make karolina kurkova look like a carrot. with two carrot legs. it's sad. tragic. god damned skinny jeans.

anyway, my point is not that skinny jeans are the worst social phenomenon since the young republicans. my point is that saddlelite jeans rock the casbah. they capture the narrow, straight legged, dark toned goodness of what the skinny jeans are TRYING to mimic. and they do it while maintaining a flattering silhouette.

now i just want you all to know that these jeans were my idea. while i don't mind sharing them with gisele (who, unlike jessica simpson, does not resemble a badly dressed sorority girl from 1999), i do deem it necessary to announce that i am, in fact, the original lover of these jeans.

ok, the picture is below. shopjake carries them, and if you want to meander through a truly useless and overly-alternative fashion website, you can visit

see. look. carrot legs.

1 comment:

Tinky said...

I don't really get you, but I think that you are really cool. How silly is that? Keep it up. :)