Monday, March 3, 2008

GIFT SUGGESTION FOR YOUR TEENAGE NIECE: HUDSON SUPERMODEL JEANS




ohhhh hudson. i'm so disappointed in you. if i wanted an overly distressed waistband reminiscent of that heinous abercrombie and fitch 'destroyed' look, then i go to, well, abercrombie and fitch [shudder]. if i wanted a rise low enough to expose the top of my pubic bone, i'd buy some true religion. and if i wanted cheesy pocket details and generally adolescent-style denim decor, i'd go to DEB. yes, you know what DEB is. it's that traj store in every generic suburban american mall ever-- you know, the one with big electric pink lettered sign and racks of jessica-simpson-inspired rayon.

in fact, these jeans look just like the ones i saw on some tragic DEB-clad teenager last week. but for the length, they would be exactly the same.

now i know i'm not being entirely fair, the fabric is perfect-- durable enough to withstand both time and wear. the shape would be nice and generally flattering to all body types-- if the rise didn't allow my butt crack to peek out every time i think about sitting down. the color is a kind, classic, warm denim which is versatile.

but the details, hudson. the details. they're tragic. traj. tragic and traj. the belt loops, the pockets, the strategically placed 'distressing.' here's the thing about denim, hudson, the whole *point* is that the wearer does the distressing. not the designer. the wearer.

i'm going to bitch about this more later. in the meantime:

hudson supermodel jean: perfect gift for your teenage niece.

ljb

Monday, January 7, 2008

If Hillary Were a Harold.

From the beginning, I believed that this election would offer too much diversity to be discriminative, as two of the candidates (Obama and Richardson) are minorities, and one is of course a woman. However, as the boys-only treehouse becomes built, I am shocked and dismayed to see a group of boys gang up on the only girl as if their campaigns depended on it. And perhaps it's true that their campaigns do depend on it. It's business, I suppose, not personal. But still.

In Sunday night's debate, Clinton summarized the noted similarities between hers and Edward's healthcare proposals, which stands in contrast to Obama's. Within 5 minutes, a joined force of Edwards and Obama had declared themselves, and even one another, 'the candidates of change,' calling Clinton 'the status quo' and completely avoiding the issue at hand.

This incident wholly illustrates what I find most frustrating about the tag team-- that Obama declares himself a candidate for change, and Hillary-- well, she's just another politician. A revolution, Obama says, he leads a movement. These proclamations cannot help but have racial implications, which is fair enough. It wasn't so long ago that black Americans weren't allowed to sit at the front of the bus-- let alone run for president. I acknowledge whole-heartedly that we are sadly still place which is not colorblind, and I feel passionately supportive of the initiative to bring it forward.

However, I find it hypocritical to pose Obama's movement as if it were the only revolution. And as the campaign plays out, I am beginning to ask myself who will truly be a change from the norm. Moreover, I find it telling that the press, the bloggers, and even the candidates themselves, seem comfortable in implications related only to the fact that Hillary Clinton is a woman and all the while calling Obama a departure from the status quo.

For example:
Many argue that the force behind Barak Obama's recent popularity is due to new voters, who are younger and like the idea of 'a revolution.' On facebook.com, arguably the most popular site for prospective young voters, political musings are offered for discussion. Among the questions: "Do you think a woman can be as effective a President as a man?"

Would it be socially acceptable for the same site to offer the question "Do you think a black person can be as effective a President as a white person?"

Or another example-- During the Iowa caucus campaign, a man stood up an interrupted Clinton, screaming "Iron my shirt!" repetitively, until he was removed from the facility.

How would the backlash play out if the same scenario were presented at an Obama event, if the question were related to stereotypes about black people, as opposed to women? And to bring that point a bit farther, would any bigot have the guts to show up at an Obama event and pose a command like that? Hell no.

In perhaps the most blatant display of complete and utter hypocrisy, the press today rags on Hillary Clinton for being 'emotional.' Apparently Clinton teared up a bit while answering a question about the pressures of campaigning. As one courageous blogger points out: Clinton isn't the only one who became a bit weepy, and in fact it was a male republican who shed the first tear.

I wouldn't be a recent law school graduate if I couldn't debate my own point, or if I didn't immediately feel required to discuss what the Supreme Court says about women as equals. That's right, I cannot finish this post without talking about Craig v. Boren, and the fact that unlike black v. white, women v. men are considered, well, different. That is, as far as the Supreme Court is concerned, white people and black people are created equal (all men are created equal, sigh). Women and men, however, are different-- which is why gender commands a different level of scrutiny in equal protection cases, and why, perhaps, it is socially acceptable to take shots at Hillary Clinton for being a woman. She is, after all, a woman, and women are, after all, different than men.

So, this discrimination is only fair, right? Perhaps.

It doesn't change the fact, however, that Obama rests solely upon his platform of change and revolution, where it seems obvious that the person who is truly dealing with a fighting a status quo here-- is Hillary Clinton.

Moreover, the examples above illustrate that Hillary Clinton isn't just being denied admission to the club house, she's being held to a significantly different standard than are the other candidates-- which of course begs the question-- what if she weren't a she? How successful would Harold Clinton be right now, with his experience, his noted Senatorial record, his eight freaking years in the Whitehouse, his aggressive yet matter-of-fact argumentative skills, and, well, his campaign in general?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

THE LIST: PART II, LULULEMON GROOVE PANTS

THE LIST: AN INTRODUCTION

i've been meaning to write this forever. i don't fancy myself knowledgeable in many areas, but i have lived in four major cities, been at the top and the bottom of the price chain, and am generally a picky, demanding, and extremely selective consumer. when it comes to my hair, my jeans, my suiting, and... oh fuck when it comes to just about anything pertaining to my appearance-- i settle for nothing but the best. and i do it on a budget.

so before i start, i would like to establish a couple of things.

1. i am too lazy and disorganized to get any sort of promotion or funding for this blog. thus, unlike allure magazine, or sephora, none of this info is influenced in any way by anything other than a girl's experience and opinion.

2. i hereby challenge other bloggers to publish their own 'lists.' as we all know, the greatest of cosmetic, skin care, and fashion advice is gained by word of mouth. so c'mon bloggers. join the fun.

3. this list is incomplete. again, unlike sephora or allure, i don't have promotional funding. plus, it's all opinion. so if i don't have a product i love in any given category, well, that category is blank. appreciate my candor.

4. let's be friends. no, seriously. even if you're not a blogger, and instead just a consumeraire, i would very much like to see your list, or even just a few of your favorites. and i'm happy to blog it for you as well. drop me a note @ loannabeek (at) gmail (dot) com


everyone loves to be comfortable. and everyone likes to think she's contributing for a prettier, sounder, cleaner earth. i'm sure i would have bought 4 pairs of these pants even if the company weren't the retailing equivalent of annie's organic foods, but i must say it's nice to feel like my superficial consumerist addiction is supporting a good cause. these patns are the best cause ever. they run in three lengths. they are some kind of fun stretchy material which is thick enough to hide cellulite and thin enough to be cool in the summer, warm in the winter. and the fit (pause for emphasis) is AMAZING. slightly wide leg with a bit of a flare, fitted waist, and, oh, i can hardly describe them. just go and try the fuckers on. you won't be disappointed. they are worth every damn penny you spend on them. i promise.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dead Penis Skin Cells, The Moral Debate Thickens

it is less often i find an insatiable need to speak about politics at with the rigor i do fashion. actually, that's not true at all- it's instead rare that i find an insatiable need to write about politics with the rigor i do fashion. those who know and love me have at least once heard me ask a self-admitted 'pro-life' man if he's ever been pregnant. (no, the answer is usually no).

however, today i'm typing as violently about stem cell research as i have, in the past, high waisted jeans.

this morning, two well known scientists (Dr. Shinya Yamanaka of Kyoto University and James Thomson of the University of Wisconsin-Madison) brought to public attention their notable findings regarding the ability of human skin cells to act like embryonic cells-- that is, these human skin cells are presenting, or appear to be presenting, an ability to help other cells regenerate. both scientists have modestly acknowledged the relative immaturity of their work, and the numerous questions left unanswered. similarly, both men have admitted the use of viruses in making these skin cells do what embryonic stem cells do. which is dangerous, or something. you get the idea.

so they're being humble and with good reason. but it doesn't change the fact that this is sort of a big deal.

on my ride home from starbucks a few minutes ago (first trip to starbucks today, i swear to god), i listened to two dudes, whose names i don't recall, have it out. one was the president of something-pro-life-something-else, the other was super president of some kind of medical association for the advancement of research. it is worth noting, by the way, the the medical research guy was way classier and calmer than the pro-life guy. big shocker there.

anyway so medical research guy first points out something the media seems to be sort of glossing over-- these aren't just any human skin cells-- these are foreskin cells. newborn baby foreskin cells. medical research guy says he understands that millions of americans object to embryonic stem cell research, but, fairly, also notes that these same americans may object to the use of foreskin human skin cells. after all, just as embryonic stem cells necessitate the termination of an embryo, foreskin skin cells necessitate the termination of the foreskin.

yes, there are some of us who disagree with circumcision. and if you think it's all fine and dandy, you should consider that the american pediatric society no longer recommends it, and many medical authorities have acknowledged that it is a myth that circumcision is necessary for hygienic reasons. and in fact, the whole hygienic hoopla is basically bullshit. circumcision is a barbaric ancient tradition with a secular background which basically equates it with genital mutilation, and while we americans think it's 'normal,' only about 30% of men are, in fact, circumcised.

not so normal now, is it?

but i'll put my feelings on the foreskin aside for a second, which is NOT THAT HARD TO DO, OH EMBRYO-OBSESSING AMERICANS. JUST PUT IT ASIDE FOR A SEC.

so let's pretend (and this is quite an assumption), that these dead penis skin cells have all the potential that embryonic stem cells do. wow, that's super great, huh? amazing medical breakthrough. gonna save the world. holy cow. let's have a party. big deal, right?

wrong. i don't really see why this is exciting at all and frankly, i see it as yet another reason to suck funds from well-intended, progressing embryonic stem cell research to take the hit. the bottom line is that while these dead penis cells do apparently have potential, this research is light years behind that of embryonic cell research. i mean, are we going to abandon efforts on embryonic stem cells merely because someone else might have a super great idea about how to do THE SAME THING?!

as medical research guy said, quite plainly, and no this is not a direct quote, this research is not about finding ways to reach a solution. this research is about finding a solution for the millions of people who can benefit from it. and finding it fast.

if you're reading this before i've added citations, please accept this invitation to kiss my ass. it's all true. and if you're reading it after citations have been added, feel free to click on the little blue links which will take you to other sites which will show you were i got my info.

that's all for now.
ljb

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, NEIMAN MARCUS?!

as many of you know, i have my gripes with the luxury retailers. for one thing, their customer service is cryable*. for another, they don't give shit for information on their products(saks), their pictures are limited and rarely provide enough detail, and in some cases, they don't even give shoppers the measurements of the freaking products they're selling. and don't even get me started on the fact that barneys can't hire itself some god damned models! what in the hell are those blue things with cone-shaped heads?!

let's start at the beginning, shall we?

here are some nine hundred dollar suede boots from christian dior:



beautiful, aren't they? yes, worth approximately the value of my car, these boots are suede, and, embroidered, and have... a sole. and are... sort of tall. wait. come to think of it, i don't even know how tall they are. i mean, are they nine hundred collar calf boots or nine hundred dollar knee high boots. and what do they look like from the back? and it says they're slouched, but can they be unslouched? and could i maybe see a picture of the 'c' and 'd' accents on the 'quarter' (um, what the hell is a 'quarter,' anyway)? neiman, are you seriously telling me that you expect me to spend 2 months rent on one freaking pair of boots of which i have seen one measly picture?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME, NEIMAN!?

alright. i'll stop now as i have in fact blogged about this before. however, i'll leave you with this parting image.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Skinny Jeans: The Time Has Come

well the time has come. as i have stated in the past, i really, really, dislike and have an irrational, almost emotional dislike for the phenomenon of skinny jeans (see skinny jeans, make it stop, supra).

however, the boots i'm eying creep halfway up, yes, even my giraffe legs, and i need some sleek, understated, medium rise jeans with a hint of lycra (or poly, i suppose) and (here's the kicker) a skinny leg. i have no intentions of wearing these wretched jeans with anything other than my knee high boots, so i want the narrowest leg humanly possible as i do not want to have to pinch roll the legs to make them fit into my boots.

i think. actually, i don't know what i want. you know what i want, because you have not shunned the skinny jeans and probably even own a pair or two. so guide me. color, size, style, rise, and so on. the only skinny jeans i ever loved were these:

they're by acne action, and available only in sweden and at barneys new york. here's the link.

the thing is, i suspect i only love them because the model makes them look cool. i think they only run 34 inches in inseam which is just traj.*

and anyway, i don't own shoes as shown in the picture above because (as much as i love them), i am roughly nine feet tall and wearing those shoes would make me an amazon. i just need the jeans to tuck into boots. this will be their sole purpose.

i realize this is a painfully ridiculous question, but i don't suppose they make stirrup jeans? what?! don't give me that look. stirrup jeans would be more functional for the boots, no?

ok, i'm done here. someone suggest something. i'll buy them. i swear.

*traj: my best friend abbreviates the word "tragic," with simply "traj." i love it. feel free to use it in a sentence today.